Meditation Basics: How Do I Know If I Am Doing It Right?

Introduction/Background

“Michael, I am getting frustrated with meditation, and I am starting to wonder if I am wasting my time. How do I know if I am doing it correctly?” This is a question I get asked all the time by clients, friends, and family, and it is a great question! I usually respond with a question to help puts things into perspective for them. How do you know if you do not know? In other words, how can you be expected to know something you do not know?

Then I let them know they do not need to feel bad if they do not know. How can you be expected to know something if you have not been taught (or had a powerful experience that eliminates all doubt - this is rare for beginners, by the way)? The last thing I share is some simple pointers to guide them to their meditation journey. As such, this blog intends to help you understand the basics of meditation and give you some useful reference points you can use to help validate the value of your practice.

Meditation 101 Review

If you have already tried meditation, then you probably already know most of the basics. Just to make sure we are on the same page, let us do a quick review of what I call the Breath Awareness Meditation (this is the classic meditation where one focuses on the breath rather than thoughts). I provide more detail to my clients in our coaching sessions, workshops, and retreats, but for this blog, here are the simple steps:

1. Find a comfortable and quiet place to meditate
2. Sit in a chair or on the ground cross-legged with an erect spine (relax your body)
3. Close your eyes
4. Inhale through your nose
5. Exhale out from your nose or mouth
6. As thoughts arise, return your awareness to your breath without trying to change it

It seems simple, right? But is it? When you are in the meditation, how do you know you are doing it correctly? Many people assume if they get distracted by a thought, feeling, or sensation, they are failing. Here is the good news. If you are aware, you are getting distracted, you are meditating properly!

Even if you are not aware you are getting distracted, and at the end of the meditation you realize you were thinking the whole time it is okay. It is part of the journey. Rome was not built in a day! There are many types of meditations, including those focusing on body sensations/feelings and observing thoughts (and later thought patterns). So, it is not that you are meditating the wrong way it is that you are meditating differently than your intention was for the session - which was to watch the breath and go back to it when thoughts or body sensations come up.

How Do I Know If I Am Meditating Properly

If you follow the six steps listed above, then you are doing the Breath Awareness meditation properly. Admittedly Step 6 is not straight forward so let us focus on that. What might be the bigger challenge is the expectations you have set for yourself, i.e., meditation should look like this (whatever “this” is). The reality is meditation is not one thing. Not only are there many meditations out there, but everyone is different and brings their own beliefs, life experience, meditation experience, expectations, etc., to the table, which all influence their meditation practice.

Checkpoint #1: Become Aware You Are Having Thoughts

All this aside, there are some tips that work for most meditators most of the time. Start with a small goal. I would suggest starting to meditate for 5-10 minutes a day at first. When you meditate, focus on the breath or a part of the breath, whichever works best for you. From there, be amazed when you become aware of your thoughts. Congratulations are in order as this is a big step forward. Your thoughts likely seem constant, and it may at first appear like you are having more thoughts when you meditate. This is unlikely. More likely, your awareness has expanded, and you have discovered how many thoughts you truly have!

Now you are aware you are having thoughts, let us move to the next step. Are there any recurring thought patterns? Recurring thought patterns may occur in one session or even multiple sessions. It is a great practice to keep a meditation journal and document how long you have meditated and what happened in the session. If you notice you were consumed about something during the session, take note. If this keeps popping up, there is likely something there for you to look at and contemplate. This might be where you involve a spiritual coach to help you go deeper and understand what is happening.

Checkpoint #2: Disassociate From Your Thoughts and Observe Them

Once you become aware that you are having thoughts/thought patterns in your meditations, the next step is to disassociate from your thoughts so you can focus on your breath. Many spiritual teachers such as Eckart Tolle, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, and many others state, “you are not your thoughts”. So, when a thought comes up, you do not need to feel you need to do anything with it because it is not yours anyway.

During meditation, we often get a strong feeling that we need to take immediate action on a thought. If it is important, deal with it after the meditation (the world will not end in 10 minutes). This is why it is important to find a quiet place when you meditate where you can put worldly concerns on pause for 10 minutes. Kids taken care of, check. Oven turned off, check. Deal with it before so you can focus on your meditation during your meditation.

The less you react to your thoughts during your meditation, the less they dictate your behavior, and this spills over into the real world. We may have an impulse to buy a candy bar, but we are less likely to buy it if we can observe that thought and not feel like we need to follow it. It is likely just a regular thought pattern, and the pause that meditation helps us create gives you time to think about whether you really want it or not (or you can just ignore the thought if it does not serve your highest good). So let the thoughts rise and fall while observing them without becoming associated with them. Just like your breath will rise and fall with the inhale and exhale, so too will “your” thoughts rise and fall - no need to get attached.

Checkpoint #3: Feeling Good After Meditation

How do you feel after your meditation? If you feel good, excellent! What else do you need to know? It may have been challenging, but now you are done, and you feel better. This feedback is telling you that you did it right. Meditation is a workout for your brain. Just like a workout for your body in the gym, it may be challenging during the workout, but then the endorphins kick in after, and we feel great once we finish our workout. Meditation can do the same thing but for the mind rather than the body.

Now the next point is super important. If you do a meditation and feel lousy after, it is time to ask yourself some questions.

• Are you getting enough exercise?
• Are you getting enough sleep?
• Are you drinking enough water?
• Are you eating a balanced diet with lots of fruits and veggies?

If you can honestly answer yes to all these questions, our attention must move to the meditation practice. If you feel lousy some of the time after meditation, this is quite normal and is part of the journey. If you consistently feel lousy after and this has been happening for some time, then it is time to evaluate whether your meditation is still serving you. Maybe it is time to switch up your meditation or find a Spiritual Coach who can help you navigate these waters.

To sum it up, meditation should feel good during and after the practice and, in fact, feel like you are being refreshed, reenergized, and rejuvenated (most of the time anyway). If this is not the case, then one needs to assess their health and their meditation practice. There is support available to walk you through this process, so do not feel like you need to give up or do this alone.

Conclusion

In this blog, we have covered the basics of what I call the Breath Awareness meditation and some of the checkpoints to help you know you are making progress on your meditation journey.

• Checkpoint #1: Are you aware you are having thoughts during the meditation?
• Checkpoint #2: Observe your thoughts and resist the feeling of having to follow their orders and do something
• Checkpoint#3: Do you feel good after your meditation practice

I will conclude by saying there is also biometric technology available to help you validate your progress through real-time data feedback. Examples include Muse 2, HeartMath Inner Balance, etc. I have used myself and recommended these technologies to others and have found them immensely helpful for people just starting or feeling they have hit a plateau. Sometimes, some people need something that validates their experience outside of their experience.

If you still have questions about meditation or are drawn to discovering and exploring your spiritual self through spiritual coaching, then we suggest booking a session with us today. There are One-On-One Spiritual Coaching Introductory Specials (available on the “Book Online” page) to help you get started on your journey. For more information, please check out our services page or book your introductory coaching session today on our “Book Online” page, as we have some special offers available for a limited time.